I’ve never wanted to be rich or famous, and can honestly say I’ve truly satisfied my wildest dreams in that department. It’s not that I’ve lacked success, rather, I’ve lacked the desire to turn my success into a brand, or franchise whenever opportunity knocked.
That attitude stands at odds with the never-say-never person I perceive myself to be, in knowing there exists a slew of things I’ve never done.
To wit: I’ve never ridden on a roller coaster that wasn’t wooden — however, I only rode a wooden one once (Coney Island Cyclone circa 1971), and still shudder from the memory.
I’ve never smoked a cigarette, or joint — however, I did spend my youth in New York City during the flower power years where I inhaled lots (and lots) of second hand smoke.
I’ve never had a one night stand — however, I know I can always do that, but can never undo it.
I’ve never driven a car over 65 mph — however, I have been hit by one speeding at least that fast.
I’ve never won, nor lost an award for anything I’ve authored — however, I know if I’m ever willing to pay the application fee required to get nominated I might, at least, lose.
I’ve never grown a tomato plant that bore fruit costing me less than $5 per worm infested tomato — however, I’d gladly pay $5 for a tomato that tasted like the beefsteaks we ate hot off vine back in the day.
I’ve never run a marathon — however I did once win the fifty yard dash in 7th grade, marking the last time I ran anywhere, for anything ever again.
I’ve never chewed tobacco — however, I have crammed enough packs of Bazooka into my jaw at one time to make it look like a wad of skoal.
I’ve never cheated on an exam — however, I can’t play cribbage without crib notes.
I’ve never tried Spam — however, I was warned I’d flunk Spanish if I didn’t stop speaking it with a French accent.
I’ve never dissected a frog, nor mounted a butterfly — however, I did accept a ‘D’ in science rather than comply, back before it was against school board law to cop out.
I’ve never donned a little black dress — however, I do own a little black dress I’ll never wear.
# # #
The balance of this essay and others can be found in
Seriously, Mom, you didn’t know?
CLICK ON & THE BOOK ABOVE: IT OPENS TO A FREE 3+ CHAPTER PREVIEW
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Great post. I was checking continuously this blog and I am impressed! Extremely helpful information specially the last part 🙂 I care for such info much. I was looking for this particular information for a very long time. Thank you and best of luck.
I’ve never flirted on Facebook, but I do adore you!
FIDDLEDEEDEE, Miss Cis! You flirt with life itself — as do I. It’s one of the great joys of Facebook, safety in numbers and all in good fun. Meanwhile, as you know, I adore you right back!
Loved it. Thanks for sharing.
YO, DOUGHBOY! What a delight seeing you here. I’ve missed y’all SO much on FB. Thanks for remembering me. Best to you and your Barbara, always.
Still loving your writing! Cheers, Karen
Still loving that you love it, Karen. You keep me on my toes…and fingertips.
I enjoy your stories and your writing so much! I feel very fortunate to be included in this group of friends and admirers. You always lift me up and make my heart smile, so thank you!
It doesn’t require being a writer to lift a heart up, Sharon. Just being a friend will suffice, and you’ve certainly been a thoughtful and generous one. So, a heart smile right back at ya.
I can’t remember ever reading something by you that didn’t make me smile or laugh at least once – however, I hope I never do. You’re the tops!
I’d hate the thought of ever disappointing you, Maf, so let’s keep our funny bones oiled, yes?
Thanks, Maeve. It’s always nice to hear.
Love, love, love this!!! Fay
Sent from my iPhone
Thank you, Fay. Coming from you that’s quite a feather in my yarmulke.