I’ve been lying to my partner about something-or-other for 45 years. I consider it an essential ingredient in the recipe of happily ever after.
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Oh sure, I know lying has been a ‘don’t’ on the Top 10 for nearly 58 centuries, and (no doubt) good books will be thumped in outrage at me for being an avowed fabricator.
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No matter. I maintain that the best way to stay hopelessly devoted is to — subjectively and selectively — lie.
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Case in point: Regardless of the fact that my much better half has enough clothes to restock the shelves of a small boutique, she doesn’t wear 95% of her wardrobe. Instead, she dons the same outfits, day in and out for an average of 2 years running, because each shirt, pair of slacks, sweater, sweatshirt, pajama top, tee, and jacket in a revolving variety rack of, sa-a-ay, 2 garments per category, is proclaimed to be her favorite.
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This is where bleach becomes my buddy.
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I accidentally splash bleach, or spill bleach, or mistake a spray bottle of Soft Scrub for Shout, or add Clorox instead of Downy to the rinse-cycle of any garment (including my own) that I cannot stand to look at for a tub-of-water longer.
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In fact, hearing her scream from the laundry room “You idiot!” is like music to my ears and triumph to my eyes.
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Saving her from potential harm (like when she insists it’s safe to clean the car mats lying on the ground in the pouring rain because she’s using a dry/wet vacuum) requires more creative lying.
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…and more
THE ABOVE EXCERPT IS FROM:
Seriously, Mom, you didn’t know?
by Marguerite Quantaine © Copyright 2019
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Marguerite Quantaine is an essayist and novelist.
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IMOGENE’S ELOISE: Inspired by a true-love story
by Marguerite Quantaine
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M A G P I E à la modus operandi 
Thank you, Mercedes. I’m so fortunate to have been blessed with so much to write about, only time prevents me from non-stop typing with one finger.
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Lovely. As always. ❤
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Absolutely charming! I wonder if you are appreciated as much as you aught to be!! Brilliant! as ever, 70seuss
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That would be yes, Seuss. Yes, I mostly certainly am. There’s not a day goes by that the expression
of appreciation by me, and to me, isn’t evident. Thanks!
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Wonderful post! I’m glad I made time to read this.
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I’m glad you took the time, too, Nancy. It’s so very appreciated. Thanks!
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Wonderful blog…my wife does not possess this talent…brutal honesty is her style. Most of the time I love it…other times…not so much!
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Thanks, Annette. As for the talent — it’s a gift!
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Another gem. I look forward to each and every one.
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Thanks, Doug. I appreciate your support. Give my best to your bride and stay snug as bugs in hugs up there!
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I love this piece! Gives me some ideas 😉
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Do me proud, Karen. Do me proud.
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As always my friend, beautiful
♡♡♡♡♡
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Thank you, lovely lady.
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